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One of my housemates has a flaccid, flesh-colored strap-on that I have to look at out of the corner of my eye like a floppy solar eclipse. But every time I see one in the wild, I get all panicky and have to listen to Ingrid Michaelson for the next six blocks until I can calm down. They even went so far as to compare it to the stodgy, Victorian-collared San Francisco Examiner. It somehow manages to read non-sexually, as if Aphrodite, Apollo, and Dionysus all showed up to North Beach and decided to put all that wine-drinking and mortal-fucking on brief hiatus. And they'll be utterly predictable:

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